the dirt of the heart

for each time i raise my eyes
to find you
ill write
for each time i wake to want you here
ill push away from lonely
and find a point in me
which holds me better love with hope
of futures growing true
its crushing me now, but ive got to resist
being knocked down and never return
im aching and trying a knot to untie
its just at those pauses
i feel like i might not survive
and however much i get up and see
i cant forget about what my words
are saying
as useful as tools to use in the soil
ill prepare the bed and hope my ground is healing
for fertile grounds to grow a new kind of motions

cast iron pan

thats the weight of it

heavy and hot

seasoned and slick

my heart sizzling

on coil heat

brings out the flavor

all the memories

like on fragrant nights

exclaiming its beauty

its colors and tastes

yet today i have a cold pan

no warming on high

just a dryness and waiting

stitched

threading the needle takes a few moments
pushing it through takes just a few more
the warmth seems to fill up that space
that the needle has pushed aside
pulling hot wet along each thread
im mending away on this rainy day morning
and figuring ill be at it again
sewing it up and up back at once
you walk away ill walk away
he said
as it rained on my head
no sunshine for months
im bearing my life on my red sleeve
each and every day
and at night we mutter hellos and hi's
but this morning im mending that soft hot
ball of mush
back and back singing softly goodmorning
but im feeling this aloneness with each wave
of sky spit and hoping its cleansing
and washing away
my back is still slumped from the words
of midnight talking and i sigh of
full days stomach ache aching
ive thought about sewing a heart onto post and mailing it ragged and open
and never brought my self close to sending it scared having loved those others
but im sitting alone, as ive already said
with a day and the night just ahead not knowing whos hearing
or caring each way but id love to say hello and have a nice day.