the dirt of the heart

for each time i raise my eyes
to find you
ill write
for each time i wake to want you here
ill push away from lonely
and find a point in me
which holds me better love with hope
of futures growing true
its crushing me now, but ive got to resist
being knocked down and never return
im aching and trying a knot to untie
its just at those pauses
i feel like i might not survive
and however much i get up and see
i cant forget about what my words
are saying
as useful as tools to use in the soil
ill prepare the bed and hope my ground is healing
for fertile grounds to grow a new kind of motions